Disclaimer: Please be gentle.
Last October, i gave away a ton of clothes to my sister while she was up here visiting. The clothes had been hiding under the stairs in storage, giving me grief. Because those clothes were for the skinnier body i used to have. The ton of clothes i gave her probably weighed far less than the ton of weight i have been carrying around with me needlessly throughout these past six years.
GASP! i gained weight during my pregnancy with Sandrine.
DOUBLE GASP BATMAN! i gained even more weight during my pregnancy with Nathan.
And i have not been able to get rid of it.
Until last October.
Something snapped inside of me. Shoving those bags of clothes into my sister’s trunk was a catharsis, a realization that i had no where to go but up – or down, if you want to be funny. i have been embarrassed for the longest time. i’ve been especially angry with every skinny girl i meet, envious of calf boots & leggings, sad that riding a bike with the kids had me breaking out in hives.
So my secret, for these past 7 months, has been my weight loss. Which i thought i’d reveal until i was THERE, you know, that moment in time when you shrug, give yourself that satisfied smirk in the mirror, & go, Ok, this is good.
But i’m not there yet. i’ve lost 50 pounds so far, & while i let that sink in with you, let me just tell you that, embarrassingly enough, this is almost the halfway mark, but not quite.
Still, i am FIERCELY proud of my accomplishment so far. There is no way i am going back. But the reason i’m writing about it now is because i need your help. Up until April, it was relatively easy to shed the pounds. i’m not dieting; rather, i’m changing the way i eat food, the way i see it, the way i love it. But in times of stress, i find myself going back to the fat & sugar i used to love. The Spring months have not been good to my nerves (Hello, book launch! Hi, recipient of CEO award!). And so i haven’t been losing, & i have been grasping at what little motivation is left me.
This is where you guys come in. Give a girl some support. i don’t want to attend motivational groups, or read some blogs from people i don’t care about, or join in some discussion groups. i want those people i care about, those very same people who care about me & who care to come & read me, help me out. Because your ideas are what i need right now. i need to focus on me wearing tiny skirts again, sitting comfortably in a plastic patio chair, enjoying munching of carrot sticks, outrunning my kids, having supper in a restaurant booth, letting my man take pictures of me at any angle.












